Happy Birthday Matthew

Today would be Matthew's third birthday. I have to say that I've tried to keep myself busy today. We drove home from Utah where we spent Christmas with my sister Tennille and her fiance' Justin. It was really nice. This morning I cried for my son. Then the kids were distracting so I didn't think about him but I am thinking now that we are home safe what I have missed out on. Seeing how Maddy is really makes me wonder how Matthew would be. I would be talking and playing with his sister and laughing and probably would be the biggest sweetheart on the planet. I really really wish that I could throw him a birthday party and see the excitement on his face. I would hug him and give him kisses and tell him that I love him.

I know I will get to someday but for now I just get to miss him.

I love you my first born son. I miss you always.